Long time, no see!

Hi folks!  We have to apologize for the extended absence, it has been a very busy school year and our blogging time has been limited.  We promise to try harder now since daylight savings gave us an extra hour of light at the end of the day!  In the meantime, we came across this app for the iPhone and iPad that is absolutely essential to parents of middle school or high school kids.  It is called LRN the Lingo and it translates texting lingo and numerical codes for parents trying to understand the text messages on their kid's phone.  In the age of "sexting" (sexually explicit texting), it is more crucial than ever that parents institute a daily check-in/check-out policy that gives them time to peruse their child's text messages.  This app is the best $0.99 you will ever spend!  Download it at www.learnthelingo.com.

Food additives linked to ADHD

One of the most common diagnoses we see in school is ADHD.  And is it any wonder?  According to CNN.com, this diagnosis has risen 22% in the last few years!  Why is that?  According to Health.com, this is in part due to the use of the following food additives: Blue #1 and Blue #2, Green #3, Orange B, Red #3, Sodium benzoate, Red #40 (the most widely used food coloring in the U.S.), Yellow #5 (the only food dye tested and officially linked to hyperactivity) and Yellow #6.  What can a parent do to be sure they aren't feeding the family a big helping of ADHD?  Some good rules of thumb are to limit processed and pre-packaged foods, always read labels in the grocery store, and limit eating in restaurants.

Should bullying be a crime?

This is an interesting piece from Psychology Today regarding the new anti-bullying legislation.  It's controversial and provocative but full of logic and wisdom.  Let us know what you think!

The Intangibles

High school hockey practice starts at 4pm.  At 1pm, the coach gets a phone call from one of his players.  He's not going to make it to practice today because he has a paper due tomorrow.

Tomorrow?  Really?  What has this young man been doing for the last few days?

Schools are great at teaching reading, writing, and math,  but time management, arguably the most important life skill, is severely neglected in schools today.  Administrators and, subsequently, teachers are driven to spend all of their class time on the tangibles, knowledge that can be measured on a scantron sheet.  This era of testing and accountability for teachers sounds like a good plan at the surface but when we look a little deeper we can see that important life skills such as time management, organization, communication, and critical thinking are often overlooked in favor of the curriculum.  What does this prepare our students to do?  Obviously it prepares them to pass the test.  But what about the life that comes after all this testing?  Let us know your thoughts!

Tips for Testing

Here in Michigan, we are a few days in to the MEAP test, a mandatory standardized test for public school students in grades 3-9.  As school counselors, we have a short list of tips for parents to help their children give 110% on MEAP days.

1. Get a good night's sleep.  Sounds pretty simple, right?  Well kind of.  With the consolidation of bus routes many schools have had to stagger their start times.  In the same district there may be an elementary building with a 7:45am start time and another with a 9:15am start time.  The kids in these two schools should not have the same bed time.  Work backwards.  Look at your school's start time and subtract 10-12 hours for elementary students and 8-10 hours for middle school/high school students.  This is a good tip for every day, not just a MEAP day.

2. Eat a good breakfast.  The Standard American Diet tends to consist of sugary cereals and pastries.  These foods tend to give a quick burst of energy but taper off quickly.  The best way to get your student through the morning is to give them a more protein-heavy breakfast such as scrambled eggs or yogurt mixed with a handful of raw almonds.

3. This one will depend on your school rules.  Studies have shown that chewing gum while taking a test can improve a student's test scores.  Mints have also been shown to have this effect.

4. Talk about the test with your child the night before.  Reassure your son or daughter that you know they will do well if they give their best effort.

5.  Make school a priority in your home.  This is not just a tip for test days, but one that will make every day a priority for your student.

Problem with the teacher? Follow these steps for a successful resolution...

Now that the "honeymoon" period is over, kids and teachers have found their comfort zones.  Maybe you're realizing this year's teaching style isn't 100% compatible with your child's learning style?  Or perhaps you are frustrated that communication regarding missing/late homework has not been forthcoming.  Whatever your dissatisfaction is with your child's teacher you want to make sure you follow these steps to achieve resolution.

1. Share your concerns with the teacher.  Some parents prefer to do this over email and avoid a face-to-face confrontation, some prefer to meet because it feels more official.  Either way you want to make sure you don't bypass this important step.  If you need to proceed to the counselor or administrator (Principal or Assistant Principal) the very first question they will ask is "Have you talked with the teacher?" Most teachers are reasonable people who really care about kids and are willing to make adjustments to help your child achieve success.  The majority of parents who take time to talk to the teacher do not even feel the need to proceed to step 2.

2. If your conversation with your child's teacher does not produce the desired outcome, the next step would be to speak with your child's counselor.  Many times they can make suggestions for change that will be agreeable to both the parent and the teacher, as well as serve as a mediator or buffer so the teacher doesn't feel attacked.  If the counselor is unable to resolve your concerns, he/she will then direct you to the appropriate administrator.

3.  At this stage of the game, the Principal or A.P. will usually create a plan that will require the teacher to adjust in order to alleviate your concerns.  Many administrators will give this a short window - a week or two - to work.  If there are still issues after the administration gets involved, it may be time to ask for a schedule change.

Many parents make the mistake of demanding a schedule change before they even speak with the teacher.  Often the concerns that make it past one conversation with the teacher are part of a two-part problem; the student and the teacher must be willing to bend in order to resolve it.  Most of the time this can be solved by a meeting with the counselor (a diplomatic third party) and without upsetting the student's entire schedule.  If a change is needed, parents should try to be flexible and remember that certain courses are only offered at certain times and that it does not benefit anyone - your child or the others in the class - to overfill a classroom because you like that teacher better than the one your child is currently assigned to.

Have you ever needed to request a teacher change for your child?  Fill us in on the steps you took and whether or not you were able to achieve the outcome you desired!

Bathroom Blues

Fact: our bodies must rid themselves of toxins.  Fact: in order to rid our bodies of toxins, we must keep our routes of elimination open and empty them as needed.  So what is one disturbing trend we have noticed in the first few weeks of school?  Kids are not going to the bathroom!  In fact, some kids are holding it to the point that they can't hold it anymore and wet their pants like they are in pre-school.  Maybe it's just the middle school age, but it seems like this year there are a lot of kids who are afraid to tell a teacher when it's an emergency.  This is not healthy for the student, physically or emotionally.  What can we do?  First and foremost, let your student know that when a teacher offers extra credit for unused bathroom passes that does not mean to save all your passes at all costs.  Secondly, remind your child that if it's an emergency they absolutely must let the teacher know.  "Wait until Johnny gets back" is just not an acceptable answer in an emergency because let's face it, who knows how long Johnny will be gone?  And finally, if they tell the teacher it's an emergency and the answer is still no, better off to just leave the room and deal with the school's behavioral consequences than to deal with the social and emotional fallout of an accident past the age of 6.  Agree?  Disagree?  Let us know!

Have you checked the online gradebook yet?

Just a reminder, it is never too early to check your school's online gradebook but it can sometimes be too late!  Our school has been in session for a little over a full week, yet just yesterday we started hearing from teachers that some students were already missing 2 or 3 assignments.  It is very easy for kids to fall behind and often impossible for them to catch up because we - the adults -  find out about it too late.  If your school does not require teachers to post grades on a weekly basis, we recommend you send a weekly email to inquire whether your child has any late/missing assignments and find out what is ahead for the next week.  Communication between home and school is crucial to the success of students at any level, k-12.

Problem-solving skills essential to combat bullying

Problem solving skills are essential to prevent kids from being bullies or victims of bullies, according to USA Weekend magazine.  An analysis of over 150 studies appeared in School Psychology Quaterly's June issue shows that kids and teens who have difficulty solving problems are more at risk to be either bullies, victims of bullies, or both.  One of the tips they offer is to avoid jumping in to fix problems, try to step back and let them figure it out for themselves.  We know many parents struggle with this because they are torn between wanting their kids to learn the skills and wanting to avoid seeing them suffer a bit.  It is hard to watch our kids flounder as they work to figure things out between friends, with siblings, or even with teachers.  However the more practice they have at doing so, the more competent they become.  Not only is problem-solving an essential skill to prevent bullying, but it's also the hallmark of a successful employee, spouse, parent, and friend.  Tell us how being a good problem-solver has helped your child!

Are conventional "good study habits" worthless?

The study habits students are being taught today are the same ones we were taught in school 100 years ago; a quiet place to study, dedicated homework time, setting goals, etc.  A study in the New York Times tells us it might be wise to throw what we thought we knew about studying out the window.  Psychologists from UCLA now suggest varying your child's study environment improves retention of information, as does studying related concepts in a single sitting as opposed to studying one concept for the entire sitting.  Some of the less shocking suggestions the researchers shared were spacing out study sessions but studying an hour a night leading up to an exam instead of 6 hours the night before and taking practice tests instead of traditional "studying."  We are definitely on board with all of these suggestions, but keep in mind every child is different.  What works for one may not work as well for another, so be sure to keep trying new study methods until you find the one that works best for your child.

What can a parent do to prevent bullying?

Last week New York Governor David Paterson signed into law the Dignity for All Students Act, anti-bullying legislation requiring schools to revise their Codes of Conduct, conduct employee sensitivity training, and train at least one employee in instructional and counseling methods.  New York became the 44th State to enact similar legislation, but we have to wonder what type of impact these laws will truly have.  Parents may become more aware of the consequences for bullying, but is it realistic to believe this knowledge will prevent all students from engaging in bullying behavior?

After working in schools for so long, we know that most bullying behavior happens away from adult eyes and ears.  These days much of it happens in online portals such as Facebook, AIM, iChat, Skype, etc. as well as over cell phones and text messages.  Some of it leaves a trail, but much of it does not.  The best thing parents can do to make sure their child is not a victim OR a perpetrator of bullying behavior is to monitor these lines of communication.  If your child has a Facebook, make sure you have the password and check it regularly.  Check the comments, check the inbox, look at what your child is writing to others and what they are writing to your child.  Simply being your child's Facebook friend is not enough.  There are too many ways of communicating via Facebook that a "friend" can't see.  If your child has a cell phone, we recommend a "check in, check out" policy.  At bedtime, the phone should be turned in to parents.  You can use that time to skim through text messages (inbound and outbound) and look at the call log.  The phone can be returned to your child in the morning, provided all the text messages were on the up and up.  As for the other internet portals such as iChat and AIM, we recommend ALL computer use take place in common areas of the home not in the seclusion of a child's bedroom.

Last but not least, if you do see evidence of bullying on the computer or the cell phone, please immediately bring the evidence to the school's attention.  Many parents are under the impression that if it happens outside of the school grounds the school does not have jurisdiction to investigate or issue punishment.  This is simply not true anymore.  If the bullying takes place outside of the school but causes the student to feel intimidated or uncomfortable attending school, it IS the school's place to investigate and take action.

"I did it at school..."

Does your child ever answer your inquiry about tonight's homework by saying "I did it at school"?  It sounds reasonable that a teacher may have given students time to work on that night's homework at the end of the class and that being the smarty-pants he is, your kid actually finished it.  So let's say that actually is the case, he did finish it at school.  What happens to that assignment between today's class period and tomorrow's class period is often a mystery to many parents.  Your child tells you he did the work.  You want to believe him.  But then it shows up as missing in the online gradebook.  What can a parent do to prevent this from happening?  We suggest the "show me rule."  If he did it at school, it should be in the folder designated for homework to be turned in. (If your child does not have a folder designated for this, that is a whole other issue and will be dealt with in another post.)  If he can't show you the work, chances are he either didn't really do it or he has already lost it and won't be able to find it tomorrow when it's time to turn it in either.  We suggest making him redo the assignment.  If he really did do it, he will be more careful about where he stores it, thus improving his organizational skills.  If he didn't do it, he won't tell you that he did because he knows you'll make him do it anyway if he can't show it to you.  The "show me rule" is a tried and tested winner, we promise.  Try it and let us know how your child reacted!