Bathroom Blues

Fact: our bodies must rid themselves of toxins.  Fact: in order to rid our bodies of toxins, we must keep our routes of elimination open and empty them as needed.  So what is one disturbing trend we have noticed in the first few weeks of school?  Kids are not going to the bathroom!  In fact, some kids are holding it to the point that they can't hold it anymore and wet their pants like they are in pre-school.  Maybe it's just the middle school age, but it seems like this year there are a lot of kids who are afraid to tell a teacher when it's an emergency.  This is not healthy for the student, physically or emotionally.  What can we do?  First and foremost, let your student know that when a teacher offers extra credit for unused bathroom passes that does not mean to save all your passes at all costs.  Secondly, remind your child that if it's an emergency they absolutely must let the teacher know.  "Wait until Johnny gets back" is just not an acceptable answer in an emergency because let's face it, who knows how long Johnny will be gone?  And finally, if they tell the teacher it's an emergency and the answer is still no, better off to just leave the room and deal with the school's behavioral consequences than to deal with the social and emotional fallout of an accident past the age of 6.  Agree?  Disagree?  Let us know!

Omega-3's can help calm ADD/ADHD symptoms

A growing body of scientific research has shown that Omega-3 fatty acids contribute to healthy brain formation, function and performance.  When comparing children with attentional disorders to children without, children with ADD/ADHD had much lower levels of DHA in their blood.  DHA is an essential omega-3 fatty acid.  This is great news for parents who prefer not to medicate their ADD/ADHD children with amphetamine-like drugs such as Ritalin.  The Standard American Diet is quite lacking in Omega-3's, but optimal amounts can be reached by using a high quality fish oil supplement and adding milled or ground flaxseed into foods like yogurt or cereal, according to Dr. Mark Stein of University of Chicago. The omega-3 supplement we prefer is Nordic Naturals, a high quality medical grade supplement that won't leave a fishy taste in your mouth and throat.  Have you used dietary supplements to manage your child's symptoms.  Leave a comment and let us know what worked and what didn't!

Have you checked the online gradebook yet?

Just a reminder, it is never too early to check your school's online gradebook but it can sometimes be too late!  Our school has been in session for a little over a full week, yet just yesterday we started hearing from teachers that some students were already missing 2 or 3 assignments.  It is very easy for kids to fall behind and often impossible for them to catch up because we - the adults -  find out about it too late.  If your school does not require teachers to post grades on a weekly basis, we recommend you send a weekly email to inquire whether your child has any late/missing assignments and find out what is ahead for the next week.  Communication between home and school is crucial to the success of students at any level, k-12.

Problem-solving skills essential to combat bullying

Problem solving skills are essential to prevent kids from being bullies or victims of bullies, according to USA Weekend magazine.  An analysis of over 150 studies appeared in School Psychology Quaterly's June issue shows that kids and teens who have difficulty solving problems are more at risk to be either bullies, victims of bullies, or both.  One of the tips they offer is to avoid jumping in to fix problems, try to step back and let them figure it out for themselves.  We know many parents struggle with this because they are torn between wanting their kids to learn the skills and wanting to avoid seeing them suffer a bit.  It is hard to watch our kids flounder as they work to figure things out between friends, with siblings, or even with teachers.  However the more practice they have at doing so, the more competent they become.  Not only is problem-solving an essential skill to prevent bullying, but it's also the hallmark of a successful employee, spouse, parent, and friend.  Tell us how being a good problem-solver has helped your child!

Are conventional "good study habits" worthless?

The study habits students are being taught today are the same ones we were taught in school 100 years ago; a quiet place to study, dedicated homework time, setting goals, etc.  A study in the New York Times tells us it might be wise to throw what we thought we knew about studying out the window.  Psychologists from UCLA now suggest varying your child's study environment improves retention of information, as does studying related concepts in a single sitting as opposed to studying one concept for the entire sitting.  Some of the less shocking suggestions the researchers shared were spacing out study sessions but studying an hour a night leading up to an exam instead of 6 hours the night before and taking practice tests instead of traditional "studying."  We are definitely on board with all of these suggestions, but keep in mind every child is different.  What works for one may not work as well for another, so be sure to keep trying new study methods until you find the one that works best for your child.

What can a parent do to prevent bullying?

Last week New York Governor David Paterson signed into law the Dignity for All Students Act, anti-bullying legislation requiring schools to revise their Codes of Conduct, conduct employee sensitivity training, and train at least one employee in instructional and counseling methods.  New York became the 44th State to enact similar legislation, but we have to wonder what type of impact these laws will truly have.  Parents may become more aware of the consequences for bullying, but is it realistic to believe this knowledge will prevent all students from engaging in bullying behavior?

After working in schools for so long, we know that most bullying behavior happens away from adult eyes and ears.  These days much of it happens in online portals such as Facebook, AIM, iChat, Skype, etc. as well as over cell phones and text messages.  Some of it leaves a trail, but much of it does not.  The best thing parents can do to make sure their child is not a victim OR a perpetrator of bullying behavior is to monitor these lines of communication.  If your child has a Facebook, make sure you have the password and check it regularly.  Check the comments, check the inbox, look at what your child is writing to others and what they are writing to your child.  Simply being your child's Facebook friend is not enough.  There are too many ways of communicating via Facebook that a "friend" can't see.  If your child has a cell phone, we recommend a "check in, check out" policy.  At bedtime, the phone should be turned in to parents.  You can use that time to skim through text messages (inbound and outbound) and look at the call log.  The phone can be returned to your child in the morning, provided all the text messages were on the up and up.  As for the other internet portals such as iChat and AIM, we recommend ALL computer use take place in common areas of the home not in the seclusion of a child's bedroom.

Last but not least, if you do see evidence of bullying on the computer or the cell phone, please immediately bring the evidence to the school's attention.  Many parents are under the impression that if it happens outside of the school grounds the school does not have jurisdiction to investigate or issue punishment.  This is simply not true anymore.  If the bullying takes place outside of the school but causes the student to feel intimidated or uncomfortable attending school, it IS the school's place to investigate and take action.

"I did it at school..."

Does your child ever answer your inquiry about tonight's homework by saying "I did it at school"?  It sounds reasonable that a teacher may have given students time to work on that night's homework at the end of the class and that being the smarty-pants he is, your kid actually finished it.  So let's say that actually is the case, he did finish it at school.  What happens to that assignment between today's class period and tomorrow's class period is often a mystery to many parents.  Your child tells you he did the work.  You want to believe him.  But then it shows up as missing in the online gradebook.  What can a parent do to prevent this from happening?  We suggest the "show me rule."  If he did it at school, it should be in the folder designated for homework to be turned in. (If your child does not have a folder designated for this, that is a whole other issue and will be dealt with in another post.)  If he can't show you the work, chances are he either didn't really do it or he has already lost it and won't be able to find it tomorrow when it's time to turn it in either.  We suggest making him redo the assignment.  If he really did do it, he will be more careful about where he stores it, thus improving his organizational skills.  If he didn't do it, he won't tell you that he did because he knows you'll make him do it anyway if he can't show it to you.  The "show me rule" is a tried and tested winner, we promise.  Try it and let us know how your child reacted!

Did you know? Online HW help for students (and their parents)

One complaint we hear often in our offices is from parents who are having enormous difficulty helping their kids with homework, especially math when they get to higher level work such as algebra and geometry.  Whether it's a complex math problem or an essay that needs editing, there are some great sites on the internet that offer 24x7 assistance to students and parents.  Next time you find yourself in a stumped by a quadratic equation, check out one of these sites and let us know how you like it.

• Tutorvista
• e-Tutor
• TutorNext

Back to Sleep

As the leaves begin to fall off the trees, children and adults alike struggle to adjust to the back-to-school routine of bedtimes and alarm clocks. Here Dr. Michael Breus gives us some tips for how much sleep kids of various ages should be getting and how to ease them back into it. Good stuff!

What's for lunch?

A recent study conducted by the University of Michigan, Michigan State University and Food and Nutrition Database, Inc. in Okemos, MI found that students who consume food from school vending machines consumed an average of 253 more calories per day than students who brown bagged it. Vending machines full of snacks loaded with sugar, salt, fat and cholesterol can be found in about 88% of U.S. high schools, 52% of middle schools and 16% of elementary schools. Around 22% of students eat from these vending machines daily. It looks like we are on our way to a very large public health problem in about 40 years when many of these students start to experience the "payoff" of their unhealthy eating habits such as Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. We are wondering if parents know what their kids are spending lunch money on? Do your kids brown bag it every day? If they do buy lunch, are there certain items you expect them to purchase? Do they fill you in on what they ate if you let them buy lunch? We suspect a lot of parents DON'T know what their kids are eating for lunch or even if vending machines are available in their school cafeteria. As a parent would you be opposed to laws governing what can and can not be offered in the school cafeteria? Lots of questions for you all today. Fill us in!

Can diet improve functioning for ADD and Autistic children?

As school counselors we often hear parents rave about the positive changes they see in their children with ADD/ADHD or Austism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) just from changing their diet.  Gluten-free has been a very popular diet for many of these kids and has seemed to make a real difference.  We just recently heard of the Body Ecology Diet and it sounds like it has been quite successful in helping with these disabilities, as well as many other issues such ranging from acne to adrenal fatigue, chronic pain, and fibromyalgia.  Here are links to the website and the page on Autism and ADD/ADHD treatment.  We're going to try it and see if it helps our health issues.  Let us know if you try it for your child with ADD or ASD and how it works.  We'll keep you updated on our progress too!

Is homework time the most stressful part of your day?

One of the things we hear most from parents of our students is that homework time often stresses them out as much as it stresses their kids out!  There's an article in the Detroit Free Press today with tips for making schoolwork less of a drag for you and your kids.  A lot of these tips are ideas we recommend often, but things like creating a routine, designating a space in the house for homework time, and making it a priority work best if established in kindergarten.  Trying these things with your high school sophomore doesn't usually have the same effect.  It's not a lost cause if your kids are older and it's still a struggle to get them to do homework.  We find that a reward system works very well with middle schoolers and the incentives can be small things like a candy bar or time on Facebook.  High school students also tend to respond to rewards, but the incentive shifts from a candy bar or computer time to a drivers license or a later curfew.  We are in favor of reward systems as long as everyone agrees to the same terms and sticks to them.  A 2.9 GPA is not the same as a 3.0, so if the criteria for a later curfew was a 3.0, don't give in to your son or daughter's pouting or begging.  A better tactic would be to wait until the next report card or negotiate something more immediate such as an A on the next test.  You want your child to feel the rewards are attainable, otherwise they will stop trying to reach them.  What do you think of the Free Press tips?  Have you tried these ideas?  Have they worked.  Let us know what you do to help keep your kids motivated!

Are your child's school supplies toxic?

Environmental toxins have been linked to ADD/ADHD, Autsim Spectrum Disorder, fatigue, memory loss and a whole slew of other problems.  According to Center for Health, Environment, and Justice, PVC (a very common type of plastic) is the most common toxin found in school supplies.  Now I know what you're thinking: your kid isn't eating his or her supplies.  But here's the kicker, PVC releases fumes into the air which your child then breathes in for the 8 hours a day they are at school.  The Center has just released a list of PVC-Free school supplies to help parents make healthier choices for their kids.  Many of the companies on the list are "regular" brands you can find at office supply retailers, such as Avery, Faber-Castell, PaperMate, Pilot, Crayola, etc.  However, beware only certain products from each manufacturer made the list.  So not all products by PaperMate are PVC free, but their new line of biodegradable pens/pencils made from corn-based material are.  Print the list and take it shopping!  Let us know if you find any great products that didn't make the list or if you have a hard time finding any of the products.  We may be able to help.  Download the list by clicking here.