What can a parent do to prevent bullying?

Last week New York Governor David Paterson signed into law the Dignity for All Students Act, anti-bullying legislation requiring schools to revise their Codes of Conduct, conduct employee sensitivity training, and train at least one employee in instructional and counseling methods.  New York became the 44th State to enact similar legislation, but we have to wonder what type of impact these laws will truly have.  Parents may become more aware of the consequences for bullying, but is it realistic to believe this knowledge will prevent all students from engaging in bullying behavior?

After working in schools for so long, we know that most bullying behavior happens away from adult eyes and ears.  These days much of it happens in online portals such as Facebook, AIM, iChat, Skype, etc. as well as over cell phones and text messages.  Some of it leaves a trail, but much of it does not.  The best thing parents can do to make sure their child is not a victim OR a perpetrator of bullying behavior is to monitor these lines of communication.  If your child has a Facebook, make sure you have the password and check it regularly.  Check the comments, check the inbox, look at what your child is writing to others and what they are writing to your child.  Simply being your child's Facebook friend is not enough.  There are too many ways of communicating via Facebook that a "friend" can't see.  If your child has a cell phone, we recommend a "check in, check out" policy.  At bedtime, the phone should be turned in to parents.  You can use that time to skim through text messages (inbound and outbound) and look at the call log.  The phone can be returned to your child in the morning, provided all the text messages were on the up and up.  As for the other internet portals such as iChat and AIM, we recommend ALL computer use take place in common areas of the home not in the seclusion of a child's bedroom.

Last but not least, if you do see evidence of bullying on the computer or the cell phone, please immediately bring the evidence to the school's attention.  Many parents are under the impression that if it happens outside of the school grounds the school does not have jurisdiction to investigate or issue punishment.  This is simply not true anymore.  If the bullying takes place outside of the school but causes the student to feel intimidated or uncomfortable attending school, it IS the school's place to investigate and take action.